If you are seeking a divorce, the thoughts that loom largest are your reasons for ending your marriage. Depending on what shows you’ve watched, you may be expecting to state and prove each of these reasons. The truth is, however, you probably won’t have to do that. In most states, the court only needs to determine that the marriage is over to grant the divorce. However, you can raise these issues to show the court why it is [...]
Discovering that your spouse has been cheating can be a shocking revelation. If you've been cheated on, you might hope that a judge will set this injustice right. If you've been caught cheating, you may be wondering how it will impact your final divorce settlement. Here's what you need to know. How Judges View Adultery Remember, the judges handling divorce cases have heard countless stories about adultery. For better or worse, many judges have become desensitized to most of this—and [...]
Divorce is about division. The spouses are dividing one household into two. They are dividing their assets, time with their children, and their possessions. The first step is to take stock of what there is to divide. In most states, the starting point for your divorce is the "domestic relations financial affidavit" (DRFA). The DRFA is a sworn statement attesting to your household finances. This can include: Income Assets Debts Liabilities Monthly expenses Take your time to make for [...]
In a divorce, there are a lot of logistics to work through. Every divorce is unique, and with emotions riding high, working with your spouse to end your marriage equitably can be very difficult. A trial is expensive. The less time you and your spouse can spend in front of a judge, the more money you will save. But mediators and lawyers can also cost a pretty penny. That's why more and more people are choosing to use online tools, [...]
Tip 1. Be flexible and willing to prioritize. You probably know your spouse as well as anyone. Think about which approach will work in mediation. Does your spouse like to feel in charge? Do they love to win? If so, tell your mediator so you can perhaps find areas where you may have more flexibility and can give. There will also likely be areas that are more important to each of you and your mediator can help prioritize them. [...]
Divorce is complicated. There are so, so many decisions to make. Every fight you have with your spouse requires an investment of your energy and money. It's essential to pick and choose your battles. Here is an exercise you can do right now to decide what is and isn't worth fighting over. Here is an activity you can do to help simplify the process of reaching an agreement with your spouse. Get some paper and a pen. Then, set [...]
Too often, custody and visitation schedules can become a contentious issue between divorcing parents. Any compromise can feel like giving up your children or your role as a parent. Let these five questions be your guide in making a sensible, practical, and beneficial parenting arrangement for all involved. 1. What was the parenting arrangement before the divorce? Think carefully about how much time each parent spent with the children before the word “divorce” entered the conversation. Take, for example, [...]
We all care very deeply for our children, and as such, parenting decisions -- and deciding who has the power to make them -- are some of the most challenging issues to reach agreement on. The best advice is to simplify, prioritize, and delegate. Simplify. There would seem to be thousands of things to decide, but remember that these break down into just a few categories: residence, health, finances, education, and religion. These five simple categories cover most of the decisions. [...]
After deciding to divorce, the vast majority of people are looking for a change of residence. Here are the three most important factors to consider. The settlement. If your residence is jointly owned, rather than being a rental, you may need to wait on moving out. Judges are unlikely to interfere with what is working. If you hope to get the house in a settlement, moving out may hurt your chances. Your kids. According to a study in [...]
The divorce process starts the moment you begin to contemplate divorce. From that moment until you notify your spouse, there is a lot of guesswork to be done. Can this divorce be done collaboratively? How adversarial will you and your spouse be during this process? The decision to pursue a divorce is one you must make alone, and it cannot be reached collaboratively with your spouse. If you are still in a place where you want to talk through [...]